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Peace in the details

I've decided to keep my eyes on something I want: peace. And how do I get it?

Well, what I've noticed is that it is in the details. In the nearly private, and certainly mundane encounters that I have with individuals every day - I can choose peace. Or I can choose to get huffy, be offended, get cranky and spout off at someone.

But I've made this decision about peace, right?

So when I'm standing in line at the Post Office and they are moving at a snail's pace with only one window open at noon during Christmas I can either get pissed off, make sarcastic (but very clever) comments to those around me, or I can choose peace. I can close my eyes and breathe. I can focus on a child, dressed in holiday clothes with a look of wonder as she plays with a stuffed toy. I can imagine all the happy faces of people recieving the packages. I can say a silent prayer for the folks who work at the Post Office, and be grateful that it isn't me.

When I'm stuck in traffic by the mall entrances I can holler at the idiots who pull out without looking and nearly sideswipe my car. Or I can focus on "Hark the Herald Angels Sing" playing on the radio and remember watching "Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown" as a kid, and how this was my favorite carol. I can be grateful that I'm in a comfortable car, with heat, and not scurrying around at the mall on my lunch hour or worse yet having to go work there till all hours getting harrangued by shoppers.

And if the pharmacist can't understand my request I can get huffy and offended, raising my voice in anger and indignation, repeating it as if this imbecile should be working in a rock quarry instead of filling my prescriptions. Or, I can put a smile on my face, and say it again, and again and again, with patience, with compassion. And with peace. That is my choice.

I'm finding that if I choose peace, in these encounters and in my own thoughts about my life and my fears, that I can actually live in this place. For periods of time I can actually have peace on earth - at least in my little corner of the world.

You Always Have a Choice

Maybe you've noticed that I'm a huge NPR fan. It's a constant companion on my morning and evening commutes. In fact, I find it to be one of the few things that keeps me from noticing that I'm sitting in mile after dehumanizing mile of traffic. My drive to work is almost exactly 32 miles, which, if driven at the average speed limit of 60, should take me no longer than 32 minutes. This morning, my commute took me just shy of 3 hours. How's that for rat race, eh?

Anyway, I've had this story bookmarked for week or two. As usual, I heard it on NPR (hence the rant above). Catherine Royce has ALS, but rather than allow the disease to destroy her life in the same way that it destroys her body, she's found an uplifting way to view her illness. Anyone who has ever dealt with anxiety surrounding disease and illness should listen to this story. Don't just read it, listen to it. Here's a short snippet of what to expect:

Every day I choose not only how I will live, but if I will live. I have no particular religious mandate that forbids contemplating a shorter life, an action that would deny this disease its ultimate expression. But this is where my belief in choice truly finds its power. I can choose to see ALS as nothing more than a death sentence, or I can choose to see it as an invitation -- an opportunity to learn who I truly am.

To listen, just follow this link to the story and click on "Listen" under the title.

A Connection Between Taste and Your Anti-Depressant?

This article from SciAm is an interesting read.

The team discovered that those who took SSRIs reported an increased sensitivity to sweet and bitter tastes, detecting them at concentrations of 27 percent and 53 percent lower, respectively, than before ingestion of the drug.

[...]

The team, however, did find that a decreased sensitivity to salt correlated well with higher general anxiety levels among the 20 study participants--as did sensitivity to bitterness--although no one in the study suffered from either anxiety disorders or depression.

"What we're working towards, hopefully, is to try and use taste tests and taste reactions in people as a sort of marker for the levels of those neurotransmitters in people with depression, so that we can tell if they've got a serotonin problem or a noradrenaline problem or both," Donaldson says.

Soldiers Say Army Ignores, Punishes Mental Anguish

I heard this story yesterday on NPR. It chronicles the experiences of Iraq veterans who, upon their return from the war, suffer from depression and anxiety (in the form of PTSD). Rather than being treated for their emotional problems, they're ridiculed and made into pariahs. As a former soldier myself (U.S. Army), I can attest to the general attitude within the Army that any form of emotional pain is a sign of a weakness and is shunned in the same way that High School kids shun the outcasts for fear of being associated with them. Luckily for me, my problems with anxiety didn't start until years after I'd left the military, but not all soldiers are so fortunate.

Even within our society at large, those with anxiety and depression are usually ostracized to some degree, but this is nothing compared to what happens in the military. The military is, in a sense, a microcosm of society; but it's also less tolerant, more judgmental and reactive, and flush with a sense of bravado that is more a facade than anything else.

To hear the story, follow the link and click on "Listen." I do however want to warn you that the story is both shocking and graphic. If you're easily triggered by listening to others' stories of anxiety and depression, I would proceed with caution. Yet, confronting anxiety is about confronting our fears, so if you're just slightly unnerved, listening to this story may actually be benefit for you. I found it both saddening and inspirational.

Anxiety: A Buddhist Approach

Eric over at Panic! made a post a few months ago about the Buddhist perspective on anxiety. It's worth reading... even if you aren't a Buddhist. I can't claim to be unbiased as I myself am a Buddhist, but I personally believe that the Buddhist approach to everything is amazingly rational and incredibly effective. It's unfortunate that our society tends to view Buddhism as a "new age" religion or belief-system. While out on the town with my wife a few weeks ago we wandered into a witchcraft/wicca shop out of curiosity and there were many Buddhist statues and other paraphernalia. We left quickly, partially because it was dark and uninteresting, and partly because some woman kept following us around with a stick of incense. Weird.

After leaving, my wife looked at me and said, "Do Buddhists believe in that bad energy stuff?" My response was, "No, Buddhists don't believe in bullshit." Despite what you've heard, it's true. Buddhism is about two things: the causes of suffering and the end of suffering. Everything else is fluff.

So, with that being said, I'll end my rant here. The point is that I don't want you to think that a Buddhist approach is somewhere contradictory to your beliefs. I've found Buddhist teachings to be a very powerful antidote to anxiety, not because they have me praying for relief or passing off my pain to some grand scheme, but rather because anxiety is a state of mind, and Buddhists are all about changing our states of mind so that we can live in peace. Read the link, there's some good stuff there.

Money, Happiness, and More

Dave's great post on happiness reminded me that I'd been saving a few bookmarks for you. I've always been fascinated by the pursuit of happiness. My personal search for peace eventually led me in a complete circle (maybe I'll go into more detail on this at a later date) and I ultimately decided that the best route to happiness was to stop trying to change the outside world to fit my ideal vision of it and, instead, to change my vision of reality to be a more positive one.

Anyway, when articles appear in the press about happiness, I usually read and bookmark them. Here are a few of my bookmarks from the past week or so.

• Study: Money-Happiness Link is Complex
• Happy People Catch Fewer Colds
• Researchers Seek Routes to Happier Life
• The Art of Happiness, by Prescription (highly recommended article)